It’s early morning but I am relieved that I made it past 4:30am. Sleep has evaded me recently, nights filled with worry, sadness, anger, grief and every other colour of the emotional rainbow in between. Guilt has me waking at 1:27am to beat myself up about not being there. Worry wormed its way in another night at 3:03am and took up residence for the rest of the dark hours playing its non-stop tune ‘what if this is the beginning of the end’. My husband, Grant is critically ill, he has tumors in his brain, and not just a handful, more than 10, that was the last count. He urgently needed brain surgery last week to drain fluid build up in the brain and thank goodness is now out of immediate danger and healing from surgery. The primary focus so far has been on the cancer in his lungs to get that under control as that is the primary cancer and on that note he has excelled. His response to treatment has impressed his Oncologist and we believe that it is in part due to his dietary habits and commitment to the natural approach of Integrative medicine to boost the immune system. Treatment of cancer has horrendous side effects and although chemotherapy is necessary to beat the cancer into submission, it annihilates the immune system. It is just how it is and managing the side effects becomes a full time job. But luckily for Grant, his result was ‘complete’, the word used by his Oncologist to indicate that the cancer in his lungs was no longer active and in essence is under control.
Woohoo!!!!! This is a great reason to celebrate and we did it in style. Nothing like travel to fuel the soul with a zest for life. Far away places with history and beauty, people like us but different, food and experiences to feed our hunger for being alive. Travel is my greatest pleasure, I delight in being immersed in possibility. And the increased high from the good news was the elixir that was needed. We reenforced family bonds that needed fortification, we ambled through pretty villages and chatted about life, it was soul medicine and we all healed.
Sadly holidays come to an end and the return to reality hits hard. The cancer journey continues and the ups and downs will be there but with my mind full of wonderful memories and a phone bursting with happy photos of our holiday in the sun, I have the reserves I need to do this!
Illness such as cancer is a journey of many downs but also many ups, how do you celebrate these ups?