Kerrin Bain Coaching

The Energy you Bring

Oh how I wish for ‘normal’… whatever that may be! Since becoming a mom I have had periods of normal, at best a run of a couple of years but otherwise it’s mostly been not normal. Let’s park the conversation on ‘what is normal?’ for another day. Our family has had a constant attachment to hospitals, tying our daily routines to doctors visits, blood tests, treatment and scans. Long ago I gave up being upset or frustrated about the time spent in waiting rooms or days and weeks lost to hospital stays. This wisdom I gained from a mom who also had a child with cancer, just like my Jess and Georgie. This mom taught me how to laugh and find joy in these dark moments. By nature I am a very rational and used to be quite a serious person, but then Sara walked into the Pediatric Oncology waiting room. She greeted me warmly and chatted with everyone, she made jokes with the nurses and before long we were all laughing and smiling during this horrendous time in our lives. Our children played and with the laughter surrounding them, we all forgot for a while that cancer was destroying our ‘normal’ life. Sara knew all the moms and was interested in how they and their children were doing, she even knew the specific type of cancer each child had and believe you me, getting your tongue around the names of childhood cancers is quite a talent. With her dry sense of humour and sharp wit, laughter and joy was the order of the day when she and her son, Greg were in the ward. Her son was just like her, he was kind and always ready with a gentle word. On one occasion when Jess was just 1 years old, he came into our room to say goodbye as he was going home, he sat with Jess and blew bubbles while she giggled and tried to pop them. It is true that happiness and joy are infectious and watching these 2 little humans with their bald heads delighting in something so simple made my heart burst with happiness. Around this time I read a quote that went ‘be responsible for the energy you bring into a room’. This stayed with me and the real life example was unfolding in all it’s glory in front of me.  From that moment on, I followed Sara and Greg’s example, connecting with the other moms, sharing a kind word, laughing with the nurses and thanking the doctors. 

Hospital stays are hard but necessary to endure until cancer treatment is over or an infection has passed and ‘normal’ life continues. They are looked at with dread and when you are admitted, in my experience the only thing to do is accept that it’s the best place to be at the time. Acceptance brought me peace and from that place I could be present. The gift of being present is watching and engaging in life happening right in front of your eyes and this gives you a choice on how you want to be in these moments and the energy you want to share. I found that following Sara’s example always brought me joy, it made the time spent in hospital happy and it was infectious to those around us and most importantly to my precious daughters. It is the one thing I am grateful I ‘caught’ while in hospital. 

Are you aware of the energy you bring to the various parts of your life?

How can you shift your energy and delight in being present in the messy craziness in front of your eyes?